It burns.
they’re burning,
my lungs
I’m just drowning in this sea
I’m getting in too deep
it’s hurting me.
the mere thought of not seeing the surface
makes this
so goddamn frightening
it’s a mess of black and green and wet
but sometimes the sunlight flickers
in the midst of this dense salty sea
and honey, is it beautiful
it’s this beautiful dirty grotesque masterpiece
I couldn’t write it if I tried
I have no memory
How did I end up here?
I hate the sea,
the waves scare me
What am I doing here?
Oh god it just looked so beautiful
I couldn’t help myself
I’m drowning but it doesn’t even matter
Nothing matters because my heart is beating
and the water beats with me
and the world is in unison
I could be here forever
but a human brain
in a mystical place
isn’t really worth anything
Survive, you weak little girl!
and I swim oh I swim until the burning in my arms
is so painful
I can’t even feel my lungs in flames anymore
and this is better because this pain isn’t half as frightening
and this is worse because it isn’t half as appealing
I’m back on land
and I look in the mirror
and I say to myself
cold and proud
honey,
I’m home
unpleasant conversations 