Eram 4:15h quando eu me rendi a viver, então, desci com minha cachorra até o pátio porque ela parecia estar com sede. Lá eu me plantei, ao lado da piscina, me plantei como um poste. Não, poste não se planta. Me plantei como uma árvore. Mas árvores não se plantam, são plantadas por alguém e fui eu mesma que me plantei ali. Minha natureza de ir direto ao ponto me trai, então vou ceder e dizer-lhes a verdade: Ela me chamou até lá e me plantou abaixo dela, logo ali, ao lado da piscina.
Nos analisamos. Ambas belas, ambas meio confusas, meio sem saber se vai ou se volta, se tem para onde ir e se é que tem para onde voltar. Ela, a lua, estava radiante em sua aura dourada.
There was something very clearly golden about her. Golden as in the beautiful kind of light that casts this ethereal spell of peace upon its beholder. She was calling out to me, for me to be golden as she is. To be bigger than this human body, to be bigger than this pesky human ego. I went back inside and surrendered to existing, and that would have continued throughout dawn, hadn’t my dog gone into the living room. I followed her and tried to see my golden equal again, through the windows, but I had to look all the way up to see her once again. And what came to me, then, was the image of that same moon being seen through a window up on a hill, without any buildings and houses and static blocking its light. I thought to myself that when my time comes, I’d like to spend my days in a place like the one I’d imagined, surrounded by the moon, by the birds and by all there is in the Universe other than these human bodies. It seems to me that it would be quite calming to go “to the beyond” while surrounded by the beyond itself.
This gave me an idea and ideas excite me until that excitement is quickly shattered by pessimism and now I’m here in this void e a vida tá chamando de novo mas eu ainda não estou cedendo.
unpleasant conversations 