letter to my lover

Good morning, love. I’m writing this because I strongly believe I should pace myself at my 5am phone calls, so I’m writing a 5am letter. I want you to know, with every fibre of your being, that I am here. I am in this. We are in this together. My so-called doubts are not doubts, they are anxious calls for help from a woman who is still learning to allow herself to feel something so immense and profound as what I feel for you. And I know I’ve been losing my balance on this tightrope, and I will not lie to you, I probably will again. I can’t promise you to stand still, but I do promise that I will get up and keep walking every single time. That is the faith I have in where this fragile and treacherous rope leads, because it leads to whatever comes next for us, and anything and everything that resides in this infinity of ours deserves every ounce of faith and courage I may find. My love, you may have noticed that when in doubt, every inch of me tells me to run, run back to this comfortable solitude of mine. I am full of fear and this will drive me mad from time to time, as I have never before believed that I would find something so raw with love and devotion as is our love, and, therefore, life has never asked of me as much courage as it does as of now. Stealing some of your words to use as my own: I promise I will se us through. Whatever happens, I will forever revel in the memory of feeling such beautiful, pure things, and, above all, of sharing them with someone so dear, so special, so undeniably raw as you. We are in this together, and if it dies, may we die with it and be reborn a thousand times.
Yours,
Sabrina.