Arquivos do autor:sabrinavviana

FRIDAY, 16:21 – “I can’t keep going back and forth forever between grief and high delight” the quote came to mind when I grabbed my journal. I think it’s from Franny and Zooey. I went to the psychiatrist. What’s off about me has always been off, it all makes sense. I felt hopeful after, howeverContinuar lendo “today, nov. 24th”

I’m watching life in stop motion, I don’t know what it means though. Not everything needs carving to its bare meaning, but life and words plead at me to be dissected. I tried not to give in and failed. Something changed or broke, maybe derailed, when I got here, but something tells me it wasContinuar lendo “oct. 12th”

I’ve got a lot of questions, but I never ask any of them. I couldn’t tell you if you asked me why I read tarot for other people but never for myself, though I pretend to have the answer, hiding beneath my tongue, just between me and myself, but there’s nothing there. I’ve been wonderingContinuar lendo “little old self-fulfilling prophecy me”

When I was 13 years old, John Green’s books were very popular. So much so that it was notable how hard girls were trying to be Alaska Young. I remember feeling uneasy watching them perform, I wasn’t judgmental, but I was scared for them, I guess. I hated her. I hated Alaska Young. I despisedContinuar lendo “definitely surprising and not at all predictable”

Você me pergunta o que aconteceu e eu me pergunto se as coisas de fato acontecem. O acontecer rapidamente se torna memória, minha memória voltou recentemente e, com isso, muitas coisas acontecem. Me pergunto se saí do lugar. Questiono tudo, tudo que é meu e tudo o que me acontece. Provavelmente saí do lugar muitasContinuar lendo “o que acontece é que…”

September, 2022. Outside of myself now, and my flatmate chews just likemy best friend from my hometown,and I can’t trace the wood on this desk, butthese pages smelllike the scented candles I melted down in the kitchenof my house.The air smells like it did that time I got out of the carin Rio but,I supposeContinuar lendo “Outside of myself now, and”

I have all these tightly gripped feelings. I want to move, and I keep trying and failing, there’s this thick kind of glue, it’s black and it’s sticking to me. I’m all lost stares and gritted teeth. I’m going to try and make this easier on myself, easier to move, easier to flow, easier toContinuar lendo “sidewalk cracks”

I think I’ve been lying to myselftelling myselfI’m getting somewherewell, Iwoke up drenched in sweat againmy heart beating out of my chestfor things I truly thoughtI was better than all the things that were supposed to make me happyare just waitingfor me to begin crumblingupon the weight of them oh, to look at a beautifulContinuar lendo “fuel for my pyre”

na imensidão de porquês para os quais nunca encontrei resposta alguma, me pergunto por que continuo as procurando nos lugares errados. não sei se a falta é minha ou se é sua, mas sei ou finjo saber que nunca encontrarei resposta para uma pergunta que é minha numa imensidão que é sua. era a criançaContinuar lendo “os lugares errados”