Uncategorized – unpleasant conversations

Fairytale’s Epilogue

I remember you bursting into my life like a hurricane and quickly becoming the kind of drizzle that stays steady through the week keeping soft, sweet company. In the morning, we’d open the windows, and it would always be such a beautiful day. Cold, sunny days. My favorite kind of weather. Beautiful days during whichContinuar lendo “Fairytale’s Epilogue”

Announcement

Every time I get the urge to write, I find myself drowning in self-doubt, in one way or another. But I must get this down on paper, I must let the ink stain the page – perhaps just a terrible way to say that my heart has been stained. Thus I must do what IContinuar lendo “Announcement”

Ando leve

Recentemente, compreendi. Carregava comigo todos os fardos – alguns meus, alguns peguei emprestado. Não sabia onde colocá-los. Para a minha surpresa, não se guarda o peso em lugar algum, se deixa ele para trás. Os deixei em seu lugar, no passado. Às vezes, olhando pra trás, ainda consigo vê-los. Não sei como fiz isso, masContinuar lendo “Ando leve”

bagagem

Às vezes, aquilo que parece tão sólido para a alma acaba existindo apenas no plano da alma em si. Intangível. Talvez seja, talvez tenha sido, talvez nunca foi e nunca será. Talvez minhas virtudes e meus fardos sejam apenas areia, talvez sejam um mito, talvez estejam guardados debaixo do travesseiro. Não sei e não me pergunte, só lhe digo que são meus.

the weight of witnessing

I learned early-on to let the blood run its route. After all, “the only way out is through”. From a young age, I took it upon myself to go through, and I took it like an oath.

add title

Everything about me screams weakness. How did I get here and how do I go back? And back to where? Back to when? I don’t even know what I’m asking for, always stuck in this mental shrine of what I (supposedly) once was. Don’t trust memories, folks. They lie. Or people. They lie even more.Continuar lendo “add title”

ashes to ashes, so it goes

I stitch my limbs back together, one stitch at a time, it takes ages. I step slowly, as to not fall apart all over again. I’m fine, though. I’M COMPLETELY FINE, THANKS FOR ASKING! I am trying to find that girl again.

today, nov. 24th

FRIDAY, 16:21 – “I can’t keep going back and forth forever between grief and high delight” the quote came to mind when I grabbed my journal. I think it’s from Franny and Zooey. I went to the psychiatrist. What’s off about me has always been off, it all makes sense. I felt hopeful after, howeverContinuar lendo “today, nov. 24th”

oct. 12th

I’m watching life in stop motion, I don’t know what it means though. Not everything needs carving to its bare meaning, but life and words plead at me to be dissected. I tried not to give in and failed. Something changed or broke, maybe derailed, when I got here, but something tells me it wasContinuar lendo “oct. 12th”

little old self-fulfilling prophecy me

I’ve got a lot of questions, but I never ask any of them. I couldn’t tell you if you asked me why I read tarot for other people but never for myself, though I pretend to have the answer, hiding beneath my tongue, just between me and myself, but there’s nothing there. I’ve been wonderingContinuar lendo “little old self-fulfilling prophecy me”